How to Grow Through Grief and Build Unshakable Strength
There are moments in life that bring us to our knees—moments that shake our identity, question our future, and challenge the very foundation we stand on. Whether it’s the heartbreak of miscarriage, the devastation of divorce, the weight of financial collapse, or the slow ache of watching a loved one suffer—these unexpected storms have the power to derail or define us.
But what if, instead of trying to avoid the pain, we chose to walk through it?
That’s exactly the wisdom that emerged from a heartfelt conversation with author and speaker Jodi Rosser—someone who has lived through layers of grief and come out stronger, not in spite of the pain, but because of it.
In this blog post, we’re diving deep into what it means to grow through heartbreak, overcome shame, and cultivate a legacy rooted in resilience. If you're navigating a tough season—or helping someone who is—these insights may be exactly what you need to hear.
Why "Through" Matters More Than "From"
Jodi Rosser’s book, Depth: Growing Through Heartbreak to Strength, isn’t just about recovering from pain. It’s about growing through it. And that small shift in language makes all the difference.
You don’t grow from heartbreak the way you walk away from a location. You grow through it—step by shaky step, sometimes with tears, sometimes with silence, but always with movement. Healing isn’t a finish line. It’s a process.
As Jodi beautifully puts it, "In order to heal, you have to feel." Anger. Sadness. Doubt. Even the questions we’re sometimes afraid to ask: Why me? Why now? Why this?
But in walking through those questions, we build spiritual muscle. We develop the kind of depth that sustains us—not just through this storm, but through the next one too.
The Power of Purpose in the Pain
Pain can be paralyzing. But with purpose, it becomes catalytic.
Many people who live with resilience aren’t just “strong.” They’ve learned to repurpose their pain into something that can serve others. Jodi shared the story of her mentor, a woman who has endured repeated loss and now faces a serious health diagnosis—yet still asks, “Who can I help through this?”
That question changes everything.
Purpose doesn’t erase the pain. It redeems it.
And while not everyone is called to write a book or start a podcast, each of us can find ways to use what we’ve learned to lift others up. Maybe it’s mentoring a younger coworker. Maybe it’s sitting with a grieving friend. Maybe it’s simply allowing your children to see what faith looks like in real time—not just when life is good, but when it’s gut-wrenchingly hard.
Deep Roots Are Built in the Storm
One of the most powerful metaphors from the conversation was about bamboo. In the first five years of a bamboo plant’s life, you see almost no growth above ground. But below the surface, the root system is expanding—preparing for a rapid, sky-high ascent.
Without those deep roots, the towering growth would collapse the moment a storm rolls in.
The same is true for people. The hidden seasons of pain, disappointment, and detour are often where the deepest growth happens. It’s what builds character, wisdom, and a strength that isn’t shaken by shifting circumstances.
Think of figures like Joseph in the Bible—someone who was given a vision for greatness, only to be sold into slavery, thrown into prison, and forgotten. It took years of character development for his calling to come to fruition. Without the depth, the platform would have crushed him.
So if you’re in a season that feels invisible, exhausting, or pointless, remember: roots first. Fruit later.
Overcoming Shame: Breaking the Silence
Few things isolate us more than shame.
Whether it’s the shame of a failed marriage, financial struggles, or a decision we wish we could undo—shame convinces us that our story is something to hide. That if people knew the truth, we’d be disqualified from love, success, or even purpose.
But shame is not from God. And it loses its grip the moment we speak it out loud.
When Jodi sat in counseling and finally named the shame she carried after her divorce, it opened the door for healing. No longer hidden, it could be surrendered. And from that surrender came a boldness to share her story—and to remind others that their past doesn’t disqualify them from being used in powerful ways.
Whether your pain came from your own decisions or from circumstances outside your control, the outcome can still be redemptive. Shame says “you’re broken.” But grace says, “You’re not done.”
Let Them See You Lean on Faith
One of the most meaningful moments in the conversation was a reminder that legacy isn’t about what we say—it’s about what others see us do.
If you're a parent, this is especially important. When kids see you cry out to God, cling to truth, and reach for community during hardship, it leaves a lasting impression. It teaches them that faith isn’t a performance. It’s a lifeline.
The same is true for relationships. Letting people witness your process—whether it’s prayer, reading scripture, journaling, or even sitting in silence—creates space for real connection. It shows that faith isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.
Why Growth Doesn’t Happen on the Mountaintop
We often equate spiritual or emotional growth with moments of clarity and breakthrough. But more often than not, the breakthrough comes after the breakdown.
Disappointments. Delays. Detours. These are the pressure points that reveal our character—and refine it.
As John Ortberg says, if you ask someone when they grew the most in their faith, they’ll likely say suffering. But suffering is also the time when many walk away. The difference lies in our response.
When hardship comes, we get to choose: will this break me, or build me?
If we let it, suffering can deepen our empathy, strengthen our resolve, and refine our identity. It can turn shallow faith into deep conviction. It can transform heartbreak into healing.
Strength Isn’t Always Loud
The acrostic in Jodi’s book spells out S.T.R.E.N.G.T.H.—a powerful roadmap for growing in resilience. One letter stands out in particular: the idea that we must "Never lose sight of God’s grace."
Grace is the antidote to shame. It’s the reminder that even when we feel disqualified, God says we’re not done.
You don’t need to shout your story from the rooftops to walk in strength. Quiet courage counts. So does honest reflection. So does holding space for someone else’s pain, simply because you’ve been there too.
The Legacy We Leave
When it’s all said and done, legacy isn’t about public platforms. It’s about private choices.
It’s about what our children remember when they’re navigating heartbreak of their own. It’s about the people we sit with in their lowest moments. It’s about the lives touched not because we had it all figured out—but because we let our scars speak hope.
If you’re in a season that feels heavy or hidden, hold on. Growth is happening beneath the surface.
You’re building roots that will outlast the storm.
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