PODCAST Episode #6


Digging deep into your why

You’ll find the motivation to stick with your goals even when things get hard.




“There was a time when I wanted to be a journalist. In fact, I wanted to go to Columbia university to study journalism. Journalists love asking questions. They want to know the who. The what. The where. The when. These are easy questions. And when you know the answers, you’ve got a great story.

What I found out was that I needed to dig deeper than those who, what, where and when questions. The how gets a little harder. We need to know the how. So we ask an expert. How does this happen?

When it comes to our money, we talked to people that have been handling money for a little bit longer than us. We talk with a financial coach, a financial advisor, somebody in our life that has more of a money expertise. We want to know the, how. That’s called a spending plan. Or a savings plan. We can get to that how.

The why? The why is where it gets messy.

This is what I love as a coach, because we need to get into the why. If you were with me for episode one, we talked about setting goals and having a why attached to that goal, because if you really want to reach that goal, you have to have a why. So today we’re going to talk a little bit about my why, and how you can find yours and dig a little bit deeper and find the why behind the why.

When it comes to money, the how can be simple. It’s a spending plan, an emergency fund, investing, generosity. All of these things are common sense. Wait, if they’re common sense, why don’t more people do them? Common sense is not all that common. And until it’s common again, I’m going to have a job for quite some time.

Look, I say this all the time. Money is more than dollars and cents. It’s habits and it’s mindset.

98% of lottery winners are going to go broke within five years. Let’s think about that for a second, they had multimillion dollars dropped into their bank account. It didn’t change their FICO score one iota. It didn’t change their habits or how they handled money in the past, or even the money stories they have floating around in their mind.

98% of lottery winners go broke because the one thing that they needed to change- their habits- didn’t change. You could have all the money in the world, but you’re not going to change anything until you choose to change something.

The questions that journalists are asking the, who, the, what, the, where the, when. That that’s only 20% of the story. The why is the other 80%?

So let’s talk about this. Let’s say you were too win the lottery. You won $8 million. It’s dropped in your bank account today. What changed? Just a number. How you handled money in the past, how you think about how you’ve handled money in the past, is going to determine how you handle money in the future. Now that could be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. If you have had horrible money habits in the past, unless you make the conscious decision to make changes you’re going to have horrible money habits in the future. So I would love to encourage you right now to decide that today your 80% is going to change. Your why is going to change. Your money habits are going to change.

Okay, so you want to change your money habits? Great. Why? Why do you want to change your money habits? If you want to be debt free, that’s a great goal. Why do you want to be debt-free? You want to build wealth, Let’s do it. But you have to tell me why first. You want to give to charity? You want to buy a big home? You want to go on a dream vacation? That sounds lovely. Can you tell me why?

You have to know your why or you’re going to give up when times get hard. I don’t want you to give up, and that is why I’m coming to you today and I’m asking you why.

We talked in episode one about setting our goals and I told you your goal had to have a why attached. So now we’re going to dive into what is the why behind it. I don’t want any surface level answers, guys. I want you to sit down and really think about it. We are not in kindergarten Sunday school, where every question the answer is Jesus, right? Like that is surface level. We are digging deep today.

So I thought I would share with you, while you’re thinking about what your why is, I’m going to share with you a couple of mine.

My biggest why, right now, on why I’m running my business and why I want my big goal. My biggest goal right now is buying a home. And my biggest why? Well, let’s talk about it. The surface level answer is I don’t want to pay rent anymore. There’s nothing wrong with paying rent. I am paying for patience. I am waiting until I find the right home to purchase. I don’t want to pay rent anymore, and I want to be investing into something that is going to build my net worth. That is the surface little answer to why I want to buy a home. The deeper answer is I really want a backyard. Oh, heavens I want a backyard…

So why is a backyard my why? I have four kids now.

I have a six year old, a three and a half year old, a two year old, and a brand new baby girl. And they watch a lot of TV. No shame on you if you want your kids watching TV, if that’s how you’re getting through your day, because that is how I’ve been getting through mine. But I want them watching less TV and running around more. I want them to have more exercise.

That’s still a surface level. Why do I want that? I want that because I would feel like a better parent. I would feel like a parent that has things for my children to do, instead of letting them just kind of sit and veg out.

Why would that make me feel like a better parent? Well, if I sent them outside, I would have space to miss them. I want to be able to miss my children a little bit. And I’d like to have some me space, some space that’s just mine where they’re not coming in and touching all my podcast equipment and touching my desk and playing with my- with my work papers. Because that makes things stressful for me and everybody else.

But is that it? No, that’s not it. Another reason why I really want a backyard, and I really want me space, is because I want all of the yelling to happen outside. I want the kids to be able to. Run around and play and scream and have the time of their lives because they only get to be kids once. And I want them to enjoy every moment of being a child. But I need the yelling to stop happening in my house. And what that would mean for me and for my family is there would be more peace inside of our home. If the yelling happened outside there would be less judgment on my kids for being kids. There would be a better connection between me and my children.

We would be tying heartstrings together. And that means that when they are older, they won’t look elsewhere for validation and love. Because they will know that they have it here. That seems like a really good reason too want to have a backyard! Don’t you think?

Parks scare me with four little kids. When you have just wide open spaces, you have four kids and you have to make sure nobody’s falling off of the jungle gym and you have to make sure nobody runs into the parking lot. Nobody runs away. Nobody gets snatched. Like there’s all of these things to think about when it comes to the park. But if I just had a fenced in backyard, A safe, secure place for them to go play and be children and run out all of their energy and explore and create and do all of the things that kids really, really need to do there would be peace. There would be security.

And also I’m investing in a property that is going to be of greater value for me in the future. Those are three really, really, really important deep seeded reasons for wanting to buy a home.

So when I consider going to work to make more money, It’s one: I am helping people change their lives, but two, I am setting myself up for financial success in an investment that is going to bring me peace and security in my home. There’s no greater reason to work and make money in my opinion.

So that’s my really deep why. And I hope that as I’m saying this, you’re realizing that in order to find out what your why is, for whatever your financial goal is has to be multiple layers deep. It can’t be surface level because surface level “I want a backyard” that’s not going to get me to my dream home.

But I want peace and I want a deep connection with my children and I want them to be secure. That keeps me going that keeps them motivated. And I hope that you can find something like that that keeps you motivated to really reach out and achieve your goals.

While you’re thinking about what your financial goals are, and what your why is, and you’re asking yourself multiple times over, ask yourself up to seven times: what is the reason why you want what you want, and you’re really going to find it. If you do that, if you keep asking why, if you keep going deeper, you’re going to find that deep seeded reason why.

But I thought I might also share with you a fun why.

I’ve decided that I’m going to have a $5,000 Yes Day.

Let me explain to you what a Yes Day is. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It is a chance for me to say yes for a day. And I’m going to spend up to $5,000 to do it. Now I haven’t decided when this will be. I told my oldest daughter that we will have our Yes Day when I have a $5,000 profit month. That means when I have a month that I bring in $5,000 and all of my expenses are paid we’re going to go and we’re going to spend it.

Now I’m able to do that because I’m out of debt. I have all of my bills paid and $5,000 is going to be money on top of what I need to survive and thrive. It’s not going to affect us in any way negative or positive to take that $5,000 and have a day where we can blow it. So I wanted to make that very clear, this is not money that I need to live. It’s not money that I need to buy groceries. This is money that is extra and on top of.

Maybe this sounds crazy to you that I have told my six year old that she can have a Yes Day, but I think it’s very important. The first thing she asked me for was “Hey mom, can we go to Hawaii?” I was like, yeah, no, that it’s only going to be one day. And that travel would be the whole day. So no, we can’t go to Hawaii. We have to stay in the state.

And then she said “okay.” And I saw her little wheels turning and I had to tell her, look, we have to stay in the state. It has to be moral, ethical, and legal. We can not do any property damage. So let’s reign in what we’re thinking.

Look, it’s $5,000 and there’s no way that she is going to be able to spend that much money, because like I said, she’s only six. We could go to Disneyland and I don’t think she could spend that much money. But I guess we’re going to see.

So why is it that I have agreed to do a Yes Day with my six year old?

We had one day where she came home from school and she was just really, really defeated. And I asked her to help me with putting some laundry away and getting the dishes put away and she just broke down defeated and she said, “I hate it. I hate when I have to do everything. And when you tell me what to do it’s just so hard being a kid. I don’t want to have to listen all the time. I just want a day to have fun.”

And let me tell you as an adult. I feel the same way. I’m so tired of laundry and dishes and diapers and being the chauffeur and having to make all the decisions and having to be in charge all the time.

This is kind of why I run my own business. Right. I don’t want to have to answer to anybody else and I want to get to make my own decisions. And if you’re wanting to get to that place too, let’s talk about it because I want you to be free to run your life however you want and make your own decisions.

I told my daughter, I said, “I want a day where I don’t have to say no. That sounds wonderful. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we both got a, exactly what we wanted?”

Look, I can’t give her the moon. I really wish I could. And I would, if I could. But I can give her $5,000. And I can give her a day where we agree on everything. To me, that is just an absolutely beautiful chance for our relationship to blossom. And honestly, I can’t wait for it. I’m very much looking forward to it.

And the fact that I want to 10 X my business this year is the reason why I’m giving so much information away for free. Because I want you to win with money and I want to help as many people as I possibly can.

I would love it if you would send me a message and tell me what it is that you are striving for and why you’re striving for it. I want to cheer you on. That is the whole point of me doing this podcast. I have no doubt that when you write down your goals and you make them completely plain and you write down your why, you will make them happen.

With your permission. I would love to share some of your goals on Instagram. So our whole tribe can cheer you on. I want to see what you can do when you decide what your why is. Not a surface level why. I want you to know what your deep, deep why is. Then you will go for it. You will strive for it.

You will achieve it. You will achieve it if your why is deep enough. Because it will keep you on track. So let’s make some of these big whys into realities. See you next week when we dive into solving for financial freedom.”